Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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