Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize