Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
