you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
