we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
