okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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