after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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