I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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