if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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