Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
