OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
