you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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