I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Two words: nipple clamps
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