I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
