I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
