Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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