It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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