I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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