I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
