i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
