So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
