Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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