i think my tv is drunk
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
