They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The best revenge is premature balding
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
