hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
