farters have to be the big spoon...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
