You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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