at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i was born a porn star she said
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
