Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
