Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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