I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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