I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
