that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
either way he was missing a nipple.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
