my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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