it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
