Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
