I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
