So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
God, I missed his penis.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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