this beer tastes like vomit already
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
