Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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