after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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