So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
