do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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