He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
