dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
