I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
