i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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