How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize