haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
