Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
