i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
