come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
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One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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