Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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