I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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