You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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