So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
