I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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