you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize