I showed him my bush... on skype.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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