so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
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He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
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We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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