So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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