He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
So apparently I’m into choking now
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