I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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